Flashback: Mommy Conversations and How to Manage the Arrival of Your 2nd Baby

So it’s been AGES since I posted anything, and I’d like to think it’s because I’ve been very busy offline. That is mostly true, but I have several posts that I’ve just been waiting to write, and, somehow, by the time 9 or 9:30 pm rolls around and I have a few moments to myself it just doesn’t happen. Instead, YouTube and other social media happen along with other procrastination.

Anyway, I have been planning this post ever since I found out one of my dearest friends is pregnant with her second baby, due around the time her first turns 2. Now, that’s not exactly 2 under 2, as was my case, but I thought that she still might like a little morale boost and some encouraging words. For this post, rather than dish-out the advice myself, I thought I’d share the messaging conversations I had with 3 other ladies who each themselves had 2 under 2 (or more!) before and after the delivery of my second. I still find it makes for a good and funny read!:

• Ladies I am approaching D-day and not at all feeling ready for 2 under 2!!!! I need your support and advice to avoid panic mode…lol tell me how you all do it? Secret formula please 😋 Sophia started nursery and is fine but its made her super clingy and needy of my attention. I also don’t know how it’s possible to breast feed with 2! Yalla shower your wisdom on me Love, 2Kids

• 9/19/13You named the conversation: 2 under 2 Help.

• Dubai Mama 1

  This conversation needs a sit down session and a cuppa tea. In a nutshell you take it day by day, you don’t compare number 1 to 2, you will miss number 1 the first few weeks i won’t lie to you, and you will fall in love with number 2, and refall in the love with number 1 acting like a big sibling. I found the second time easier coz i knew what to expect n the breastfeeding worked and i knew what to expect for a c section, sure the sleep deprivation kicks in and you act think and a little cry like a silly person. Then they fall into a similar routine and start playing together and it’s lovely. Travelling is tough

• Dubai Mama 1

  Prematurely sent…. it’s tough, but you figure it out somehow. Some days are great, others are absolutely shit. There is no secret formula unfortunately… but you can invest in a good makeup foundation wink emoticon

  Rimmel do an “anti fatigue” foundation… they got me at fatigue! I paint my face on every day

• 9/19, 9:46am

  2Kidsb430

  Hahaha fatigue is a synonym for motherhood isn’t it? I am really hoping Sophia adjusts in her due time and she probably will, and in the meantime mommy will just have to get by in zombie mode day by day as you said! Samantha if you have next Thursday morning free please join me with Dubai Mama2 at Shakespeare village mall and bring flash cards and visual aids

• 9/19, 12:06pm

   London Mama 1

  I agree everyday is a trial day for everyone ad especially number one. The most important thing is not to disrupt the big munchkin’s routine

  She needs to do exactly the same thing at the same time- as usual

• 9/19, 12:07pm
• 9/19, 12:07pm

  London Mama 1

  I always move my babies I their own room at 4 weeks old, this has proven to have major long term benefits

• 9/19, 12:07pm

  2Kids

  Yes that’s what I was hoping for by starting her at nursery now

  Well this time the sleeping will be a little complicated cuz we have a 2 bedroom

• 9/19, 12:08pm

  And don’t worry about baby 1 or 2 waking the other they don’t really care and they adapt quickly. Both my girls are fantastic independent sleepers

• 9/19, 12:08pm

  2Kids

  But I’m hoping baby will sleep in living room

• 9/19, 12:09pm

  LM1

  I had a travel cot in the living room for the day to avoid baby1 throwing things inside the cot and hurting her by accident I was rest assured with the high cot or naps

  And for forget how much babies sleep at first so ull sometimes forget the u have another child hehehe

  Bottom line is, it works itself out. And yes you’ll be tired and you’ll cry in the first weeks but the beauty of it is that you forget it all smile emoticon

  And time goes by a lot quicker the second time (and you’ll feel guilty that u haven’t given your second the same amount of attention… But they are just fine!)

  Well done on having two close in age, I really see the long term benefits already

  Only thing I didn’t do as well with cecile (n2) is that I didn’t breastfeed her as long as C. Breast feeding was never really my forté

•  2Kids

  Really? Both in the same room from 4 weeks?

  Yeah I barely got to 5 and a half months with S

  Cuz she would feed very very often

  And was a very fussy feeder

  All I did during the first few months was sit on a chair and feed her

  I found it really hard

  I dunno how its gonna go this time!

• 9/19, 12:56pm

  LM1

  I expressed with C exclusively because she was a tiny baby and I was paranoid that she wasn’t getting enough. So I expressed to see how much she was getting and that was exhausting

• 9/19, 12:59pm

  2Kids

  Oh gosh I hate pumping

• 9/19, 1:00pm

  LM1

  Yeah tell me about it an I had a manual pump!

  Cecile on the other hand was huge but she fed so much on the first day that she scabbed me and it just hurt so much that I found myself pumping again and I just couldn’t do it anymore it was too much with the c section

• 9/19, 1:20pm

  2Kids

  Oh no not manual! That’s just wrong!!!

  In the end they were fed and well the rest is details right? We always try to do things so perfectly

• 9/19, 1:22pm

  London Mama 2

  so i completely agree with the ladies above, it is a day by day thing and yes you will feel extremely guilty about number 1 the 1st few weeks but they adapt so much quicker than you think. As for breast feeding I managed 4 months with A I would have liked to do it for longer but I honestly ran out of milk because I wasn’t getting enough rest M was such a bad sleeper that I wld be up feeding A for an hour and then up with M for the next hour. But M was fine playing around me while I breastfed didnt faze him he wld sometimes though want cuddles at the same time which cld be fun but that didnt last very long. However he became a much better sleeper by 20months and as soon as I put A in his room. LM1 is right they really adapt and get used to each other. Don’t get me wrong there are some nights that they do wake each other up especially if its early morning but not very often. They can be screaming and the other wont stir. The hardest part I found has been naps, I can’t seem to get A to take a nap at the same time as M maybe if im lucky once a week they do the same time and I have also set up a travel cot for naps that I put A in as its easier that way. But with time I know this will get better. I dont know if the others felt the same thing but 20months is a big turning point for the babies, things just click a lot better and they get things and help out more. With nursery she will get used to it and be a lot better. It takes a month at least. Its great for them too, when I drop M off and I see a tray of shaving cream and jelly and spaghetti for them to do messy play with I know that would not be happening in my house so its nice that they do other things and he loves it. Obviously there are other things and other benefits but it really has been great for him

• 9/19, 4:18pm

  2Kids

  Hey LM2! Yes I am glad they’re getting that extra stimulation and fun at nursery and it also gives them some structure and routine to their day. When did you start them in the same room at what age? I have a feeling Sophia is not going to want me to sit their and feed the baby cuz these days she’s always asking to be play together but she’ll have to get used to it somehow

• 9/19, 6:34pm

  DM1

  The peak clinginess I would say was around 18 -24 months, they then move into an “I do it” independent phase and are less clingy, I feel. Now they play together but also fight over toys etc. It gets much easier with time. Just tell yourself that. But ever

  Sorry C jumped at the phone… but every new stage has new challenges.

• 9/19, 9:30pm

  DM2

  In my experience first month or so is the worse. Fatigue, hormonal changes, feeding adjustment… But then you adapt, sophia will adapt too quicker than you expect and second baby too… Until the next phase:) the first phase is when baby 2 just sleeps eats and poops and everybody adjusts around it fairly easily. Phase 2 is when baby 2 starts awakening and playing around and that’s another round of change. But until then … My advice is really try to take it one day at a time it does get easier and what seems very difficult has a way of sorting itself out

• 9/19, 10:29pm

  2Kids

  Thanks DM1 yes she is very clingy now

  DM2 I can imagine each phase is different and I will try to keep in mind that the first time things worked out eventually! You did 3 under 3 I don’t even want to go there mentally right now! Hehe

  Thanks so much all of you, I think I’ll print out what you wrote and hang it on my wall for encouragement

Mommy Styles

I think that before you become a mom, you have a vision of what it’s going to be like, and whether you envision yourself dressed in head-to-toe matching beige couture, strolling in the park with your little cherubs, or nursing your baby relaxed as you rock on a beautiful glider, or laughing as you roll on the grass, somewhere between the baby’s arrival and their first birthday, your vision probably changes slightly, to say the least.

As your baby grows, you grow too and you learn what kind of mom you are. Most often it surprises you, I think, because I was definitely surprised by many things. Of course I ate my words, when it came to all those “I’ll never do that with my baby…” ideas that I had, but I also discovered just how patient (all-night rocking sessions) and impatient (potty training) I could be, and how different my approach could be from other moms’.

I don’t know why it constantly surprised me that I might do certain things differently than other moms, when people, in general, are so different. We all have different personalities, so why wouldn’t we parent differently?! And since we tend to understand that people dress differently, eat differently and act differently, why isn’t it normal that we all raise our kids differently, instead of being some kind of heated debate?

In one of my earlier posts, when Sophia was a few months old, I described myself as a two-latte-a-day, jean-stained, fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants mom. I’m sure there’s a deeper description, but I’m still on this journey, so I don’t have it for you yet.

Instead, for fun, I have a few Mommy Styles I’ve noticed by observing my friends and acquaintances around me. Some are very much applicable only to Dubai and the Middle East.

The Martini is a Must (Forbes.com)

1) The Embrace The Chaos Mom

This mom usually has at least 3 kids, and, being brave enough to have had 3 kids in 3 years, makes her brave enough to “embrace the chaos” that is her life. You will most often find her at the swimming pool, park or other public place, with one hand pulling on a middle child’s floaters to save them from submersion, one hand grasping a baby bottle, all the while shouting to her eldest to get off the steep slide. She can push a double stroller, while wearing her baby-carrier, all without breaking a sweat. This mom doesn’t mind the sound of 3 kids screaming, whining and singing with the sounds of Disney Junior blaring in the background, her ears are attuned to it.

2) The Go-It-Alone Mom

When this Mama embarked on motherhood she knew that no matter the availability of nannies and nurses at her disposal in the Middle East, she was going to do things differently. Forgoing the offers of help and nagging of her relatives and in-laws she armed herself with all the knowledge and equipment to be as prepared she could for motherhood, doing everything with her own two hands. This mom’s diaper bag is always stocked, snacks always at the ready, as she takes motherhood head on, whether pureeing her own organic baby food at 3 am, juggling baby’s naps with crafting or planning the perfect birthday party, she’s every bit a full-time mommy.

3) The Army of Staff Mom

As this mommy’s family grew in numbers, so did her accompanying helpers. For each baby, not only was there the local baby nurse to help her through the first few weeks, but her nurse carefully trained a new nanny to mind each child and add to the family entourage. Her house is a well-oiled machine, with lavish dinners being thrown alongside beautiful baby showers only a few weeks after she comes home with her fourth child. This mom combines entertainment, society and kids as she breathes, all the while opening her own shop and home business.

4) The Working Mom

When you see this mom in the office elevator, slurping away at a pouch of baby food for breakfast, you know she’s had a rough night. Never in only one place at one time, both mentally and physically, she’s juggling everything and everyone between her own two hands. As she finishes her important presentation late at the office, she gets a call that her daughter has a fever. As she settles her son into nursery school, she gets an urgent call from the office scheduling her on an afternoon business trip. She still manages to pick out the right costume for the theme day at school, plan the cutest cake for the party, and wake up at night to check on the sleeping baby. She’s never sure if either what she’s doing at work or at home is enough or is going to get her the results she dreams of, but she keeps going, day in and day out, brushed hair or not, canceled babysitter or not.

All these Mommy Styles are so different, yet I am inspired by all of them, as they are the strong women all around me, doing the virtually impossible (just ask the Daddys) Every. Single. Day. Love you all ladies xx

How Does She Do It?

So a couple of nights ago, I attended a boat party (I know imagine that!) for my husband’s MBA class, who were celebrating the end of their core courses with an open bar and a funny awards ceremony. As a mom, it was already intimidating to be out of the house past 9 pm, especially knowing I was coming back to a crying baby who is staying up all night since he’s sick (my youngest). To make matters worse, though, I was confronted by 2 supermoms who not only have 3 kids each (or 2 and a third on the way), but who were also doing the MBA themselves and working full time. My first reaction, was shock. My second was to want to throw myself off the side of the boat and swim desperately for shore. “How,” I wondered, “did these women do it?” Here I am with two kids, and only doing a little bit of freelance work, and I feel myself drowning most of the time, from lack of sleep and lack of time to manage all those demands at once. “Are they drinking some kind of super elixir,” I thought, “and where can I buy some?” Now, before you head to your closest Life Pharmacy, I can assure you that these women are NOT consuming any odd substances. Apparently, their drive is purely psychological and they have a kind of motivation and willpower that most of us don’t. It’s definitely inspiring, and makes me take a step back and think about what I want most in life. I don’t necessarily want 3 kids and an MBA, and not necessarily all at once, but it’s good to question how I balance my day-to-day routine, as well as what goals I want to aim towards in the future. Right now with a 2 and half year-old and a one year-old, even the most basic tasks can seem daunting, but, once my little one grows from baby to older toddler, I am pretty sure that I’d like to expand my horizons beyond the pure feed, change and nurture role. Having that thought can be a little scary, but it’s mostly exciting, and I can’t wait to flesh out some personal goals and ambitions. Here’s hoping.

Mom Jealousy

So I came to the coffee shop this morning to do some work, which really, honestly makes me so happy. It’s almost like a vacation, sitting here, drinking delicious coffee with no kids. When I stepped into the café this morning, though, I was hit with a wave of a familiar feeling; one that I had felt many, many times before: Mom jealousy. The jealousy I felt was targeted at a group of moms sitting cozily at the back of the place, chatting intimately while their strollers sat parked in the corner and their toddlers climbed on the furniture. You see, when I had my first child, my daughter, and I came back to Dubai after giving birth, I found myself very, very lonely. I was used to adult company throughout the day in the form of co-workers, and I used to love sharing my day with others, chit-chatting and thinking out-loud to adults like me. Once I was at home alone with a baby, and one who couldn’t communicate yet, at that, I found myself talking to the walls and feeling quite isolated. To top it off, almost everywhere I’d go, from the common areas of my housing community to the local coffee shops, I’d find groups of moms hanging out and sharing parts of their day. I was baffled! ‘Where do I find these mom friends?’ I thought. Apparently I had missed the boat, because other moms to hang out with were nowhere to be found. My friends either didn’t have kids, had kids and worked outside the home, or were just too busy to do any ‘mom hanging.’ I tried the local community groups and didn’t really hit it off or have any real chemistry with other moms, which we all know is the key to starting off a friendship.

Well, the days and months passed, I got pregnant again, my daughter grew up and got more communicative and easier to interact with, I got busy and forgot all about the mom jealousy: until this morning. Should I post a classified on the Spinneys bulletin board in my neighborhood: “Early 30s Mom seeks young, fun-loving, book-reading, food-eating, not-too-organized fellow mom to hang out with on a semi-regular basis”? Probably not. I’m guessing I’ll just get busy in my own and my kids’ activities and this phase will pass, until it’s time to meet fellow parents at school. I’ll always feel, though, that I missed out on something important that could have made these times with young kids a lot easier and more enjoyable.

The Kids vs. The Kid-less

ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED ON 9/13/14

Yesterday I had a date to meet up with an old friend and her husband for lunch. It’s one of those typical Dubai situations, when we can never manage to make plans, as she’s almost never actually in Dubai, although she lives here, and we have totally different schedules given that I have kids (and don’t work) and she doesn’t. Somehow, six whole months pass and we haven’t even seen each other. We finally set lunch for 1:30 pm on a Friday at a trendy new spot called Bystro. The catch was that I was bringing my two kids, all by myself, having given the nanny some time to rest and my husband being immersed in his MBA studies.

Now, to provide you with some background, this friend has very publicly highlighted her unwillingness to have kids right now in the face of societal pressure and the growing number of her friends who are procreating. So, as I loaded up my kid-mobile with my huge double stroller and ten various baby bags stuffed with every known baby accessory under the sun, I played the conversation I would have with her in my head. “You see Rana,* it’s not as bad as you think, you can still go out, travel, have a life, and even work. It’s all about choices. I chose to stay home and that works for me, but you can do things differently. Anyway, look at these two little cherubs, isn’t it worth it in the long run?” I was so sure she’d see what a good time I was having with my little ones on a Friday afternoon and change her mind completely.

After an hour of driving in circles around Al Wasl Road to ensure the cherubs had enough naptime to be on their best behavior for lunch, I arrived in front of the restaurant and began to unload the caravan again. We cruised into the trendy brunch spot with our giant double stroller and flagged down Rana and her husband who were waiting patiently at the table in the center of the place. The older cherub took one look at Rana and scowled. “No!”she declared vehemently. And with that the rest of the lunch was a mix of big cherub shouting and refusing to stay seated, me trying to wrangle both cherubs in the bathroom and change their diapers, combined with pure exasperation that I couldn’t have an uninterrupted adult conversation. At least the little cherub was cute, cuddly and quiet enough to leave a good impression.

Later that night, it turned out that big cherub had a fever and wasn’t feeling well, so all my yelling and threatening about being “naughty,” were really for nothing. I’m not sure why I felt the need to indirectly sell my lifestyle and life choices to my friend, especially given that I’m sure I’m happy being a mom, but I am sure that if my friend had even the slightest inclination to change her mind and have a baby soon, it was now long gone.

To be honest, having kids is not some catalogue-perfect life, where we all dress in matching outfits and behave well. It is messy, noisy, frustrating, tiring and full of sleepless nights. You can never be caffeinated enough as a mom, you often lose your patience with your kids, and most days go by without much to show for them in terms of productivity. But how do you explain the little victories? The moments when your cherub says a new word, tells you something funny, crawls for the first time, gives you a hug or just look heart-achingly cute? You can’t. Sometimes you even love them the most when they are throwing up over the toilet or have a 39 degree fever at 3 am. Because in those moments, they need YOU the most, and you know you have a purpose, which is just being there.

The Ultimate Baby Essentials 2013

ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED ON 4/17/2013

So here it is my preggers friends, my highly-anticipated “baby essentials” list! You have all (okay there aren’t hundreds of you but still) been asking me what you need to buy, how many onesies your newborn will wear, and to ‘please, please’ just HELP you with your prenatal shopping. So, in answer to your pleas, I have compiled a list of EVERYTHING you will need from equipment to clothing.

Mama and Papas Sola Stroller

1. At the very top of the list is one of THE most essential items to a mama. I mean your baby can technically sleep in a cupboard drawer but you cannot live without a great stroller. My ultimate pick of a stroller is Mama’s and Papa’s ‘Sola.’ It has been around for a few years, and in Dubai you will definitely see it all over the place, but with very good reason. As I discovered, this best seller lives up to its reputation. It is sturdy and durable without having the bulky wheels of a vehicle like the Bugaboo Chameleon or the Stokke … It is fairly lightweight at only 7.5 kg, and folds and unfolds in a single movement. A key feature is the fact that it has both the front and rear-facing options, allowing you to easily click off the seat and turn it around to adjust from front to back view. The rear-facing option, which is mainly for 0-6 months, handily reaches a full recline. The handy shopping basket between the wheels will hold just about anything (trust me). The handle bars adjust for height and comfort and the hood has 3 options of coverage, good enough to block out the strong Dubai sun on most days and for nap time, and when needed can provide a medium level of shade while not blocking your baby’s view of the passing scenery. This wonderful baby-mobile maneuvers smoothly whether on the sidewalk, on the grass or in the mall and I can say that my daughter has spent hours napping and cruising in the Sola. Don’t make the mistake of buying another stroller! Although the Bugaboo Bee was buzzing with trendiness when I was expecting my firstborn, I was smart enough to listen to friends who warned me of its lack of sturdiness and that its smallish wheels were quick to break. I do not regret my decision. 
   

2. The next highly essential item on the list is the car seat. At first, something like a car seat might seem standard and uncomplicated. That is, until you walk into a MotherCare, BabyShop, Geahchan, or Baby Company. The salespeople will try to sell you on the safety features and a whole host  of other things you really don’t understand. So, let me simply your life for you: Stick to MaxiCosi. This well-reputed brand may be pricey, but their carseats are well made and meet the highest safety standards. The Cabriofix, which is a newborn to 15 kilos seat is a good option for parents looking to use their car seat in combination with their stroller base, as it attaches to the Sola and Bugaboo Bee, as well as most Quinny strollers. I used this option a great deal before I got my car, allowing me to take the baby in cabs around town and not have to worry about what to do with the seat once we got to our destination. This also works if you switch between vehicles often. However, this option is only good until your child is around a year old, when they will outgrow the seat and graduate to one that cannot be attached to a stroller base. This makes the Cabriofix an expensive option. So, if you are planning on using your own car the vast majority of the time, you can choose a model that works from birth to 4 years. However, the rear-facing Cabriofix is definitely convenient as a baby-carrier and very comfy for baby. I would still choose having 2 car seats for the different age groups, especially if you are planning on having more than one kid anyway, it will get its fair share of use.

3. Next on the list of essentials is your feeding equipment: bottles, sterilizer and accessories. As a first-time mom-to-be, I had no clue how important these were. I had only bought a few bottles from a couple brands and put them in the baby’s closet saying: “Oh I’m planning on breastfeeding, hopefully I won’t need these.” Little did I know, all moms need bottles, a sterilizer and their accessories, and all moms need to know how to use them before the baby arrives! I had heard this from a cousin of mine, but, of course, I didn’t listen! Well, anyway, moving on to my recommendations, I was very happy overall with Tommee Tippee as a mom who breastfed exclusively for 5 and a half months, then made the switch to formula feeding. My daughter took to the shape of their bottles easily, all of their equipment and bottles were easy to assemble and clean, and their bottle travel pouches are great. I definitely recommend them for mothers who are planning to try both breast and bottle (which means most moms, since no mother can survive without expressing some milk at least once a week!). That said, when I bought my feeding stuff the Avent Natural Range had not yet been introduced in the Middle East. So, I believe that if their bottles do fit in the Tommee Tippee sterilizer you could also buy a few and try them out. Tommee Tippee does leak a little when feeding young babies, which is a downside, but it wasn’t really a big issue for me, although I know a lot of moms are very anxious about losing any of their breastmilk. Buy the Starter Kit, as well as additional bottles of the newborn and larger size. You will also need 3+ nipples to add to the larger bottles once your baby is ready to move to a faster flow of milk (usually after 6 months). I honestly didn’t use the electric bottle warmer and found it too time-consuming and useless to set up. I found it easier to put boiled water in an Arabic coffee-pot ‘rakwe’ to warm the bottles, but I highly recommend purchasing the travel warmer, which is very low tech but a lifesaver on the go (especially defrosting and warming breastmilk).

Side Note: In most cases, you need to purchase additional adapters when you buy your stroller, to be able to attach the car seat. When I bought the Sola from Mamas and Papas there was a frustrating ‘waiting list’ for these, and the staff wasn’t able to tell us if they’d arrive on time. Luckily, though, due to a lack of communication between their branches, I was able to find some adapters in-store at Mirdiff CityCentre.

4. You may not be thinking about this stage of your baby’s life yet, but this kitchen gadget should be at the TOP of your list. As an expensive piece of equipment, retailing at around 800 AED, this item is a great registry gift. It steams vegetables, fruits and meats to perfection and enables you to make a complete meal for your baby in just minutes through a combined steamer and blender. In fact, many babies enjoy their first foods from the Babycook thanks to the wonderful texture and fresh flavors it gives foods. Just a warning though, this device’s catalogue does not explain a thing about how to operate it, so watch YouTube to figure that out, and definitely keep all your receipts and paperwork from the store in case anything goes wrong with the machine (same goes for your sterilizer).

5. Forget the crib and changing table! Your baby’s nursery is not complete without a special diaper trash can. The most widely available in the Middle East is the Tommee Tippee Sangenic, and you can even find its refills at some Supermarkets (ex: Spinney’s Dubai). Removing part of the roll before it has finished can be complicated, so use Mr Google and Youtube for instructions, as these also don’t come with the actual equipment. Another word of advice, this can is probably best kept in the bathroom rather than baby’s bedroom once they’ve moved to solids, as odors can still escape when opening and closing the lid.

6. When it comes to your baby’s room, the crib and changing table are the main elements that make up the nursery. You want these 2 items to last a long time, as well as being safe, sturdy and attractive. That’s why I chose Pottery Barn Kids for my nursery furniture. I chose a design in dark wood that matches the rest of our home, with the idea that the changing table can even convert into a regular cupboard or sideboard for the dining room. PB Kids’ quality did not let me down, and their craftsmanship really made a difference in making my daughter’s room look elegant and inviting. Since their things are pretty pricey, I recommend looking for special deals. The piece we happened to like was discounted as the last piece, and they often have sales on certain items. We also later chose linens, a bumper, pillows, a side table and other room décor from their shop. Most of their cribs are convertible meaning that, not only does their mattress adjust to 3 different levels (starting at newborn), but the crib can also be converted to a toddler bed with the addition of a converter kit.

7. One of my favorites is the ultimate diaper bag! I didn’t discover this one, but was gifted this amazing Kate Spade diaper bag by my best friend who hadn’t had a baby yet but know how to buy a great bag! It’s extremely roomy, comes with the best changing mat, is full of external and internal pockets, is super-stylish, and even has gold plated hardware! What more can I say? (Mine is grey unlike the photo).

8. I am totally NOT advertising for a company here, but I owe my daughter’s dry and happy tush to Huggies. Once again, before I gave birth I didn’t listen to the wise people around me who told me that Huggies are best, and I naively tried Pampers and Pampers Premium Care. Well Pampers do NOT keep a baby’s bottom dry, period. I switched to Huggies and I have been a much happier mama since.

Baby Number 2…Not Quite

ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED ON 1/10/2013

So in the midst of the madness that was Christmas, something pretty mad happened: we thought I was pregnant. I had been pmsing the whole month, which was already a little strange, and by the time we headed to Beirut I was feeling queasy and uneasy to say the least, but my period just wouldn’t show up. By day 32 I was really starting to feel like I might by preggers, and I bought 2 standard pregnancy tests. I took both, but had a negative result. I then did 1 the next morning again and saw a very, very faint blue line. I was convinced I must be pregnant. I had so many symptoms, and I understood that you could only have a false negative, not a false positive with these things! I told hubby, and we were both in disbelief. His first reaction: how can we afford this? Of course, typical man, right? Well, a few hours later he was back to being excited. He even decided to tell our parents, but I convinced him to wait. I then commenced full pregnancy mode: no caffeine or alcohol, avoiding cured meats: basically no fun at all. On Christmas day at my parents place, amidst the general hysteria over Baby Number 1, hubby decides that the present exchange would be the right time to share our so-called “news.” I was less than enthused. I could already read the grandparents’ minds’. My mother would disapprove due to her constant worrying about my capacity to manage one child, let alone two and run a household. My mother-in-law would automatically be jealous for the firstborn grandchild and worried about her son’s finances. My dad, on the other hand, would be thrilled that his brood of grandchildren was expanding. As an only child who had an only daughter, my dad was very focused on the idea that people should have as many kids as possible, especially his daughter. Well, there was no stopping hubby and his announcement. Once all the gifts were open, he looked at me, and I scrunched up my face in an embarrassed expression and shook my head. He continued anyway. “We have to tell you something…Wifey missed her period.” “That’s horrible! Don’t say it like that!” I exclaimed. The grandparents looked at us with blank expressions. My dad smiled “so I was right,” he said. Grandmother-in-law tried go feign excitement, Grandmother said happily that she’ll take my maternity wear down to iron, five minutes passed, and everyone continued on as though nothing had happened, going on to fawn over Baby Number 1 and wind down the lackluster Christmas celebrations. Two days passed and there was absolutely NO mention of my supposed pregnancy. Hubby and I started calling my bloated belly “bazello” to distinguish it from bazella, and began planning how to manage 2 babies under the age of 2. Still no mention of a second baby by the grandparents. Another day passed. On the eve of the third day, Day 36 of my cycle, I got my period. We spread the word of a false alarm, I drank some horrible mint liquer to make up for my abstinence. The grandmothers breathed a sigh of relief, and the holiday mayhem continued.

A Very Crazy Christmas and A Happy New Year

ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED ON 1/10/2013

So the 2012 Christmas holidays were pure mayhem, by my standards anyway. It was the first time that we went home for the holidays and had to split ourselves between my parents’ place and my mother-in-law’s– and with a baby! The craziest part of this whirlwind vacation, was that the whole thing was my idea. I knew that my sister-in-law, her husband and my brother-in-law wouldn’t be in town until after Christmas, so I thought that it would be a nice idea to spend the first 4 days of the holiday with my husband’s mother, to keep her company and let her spend some quality time with the baby. After my little one was born, I spent about 5 months at my parents place and used to bring baby over to her’s once a week, but she didn’t have the same experience of seeing the baby the way that my parents did. Well, right before our trip, hubby decided to change our tickets to an earlier departure, and we ended up heading to Beirut 4 days early. “More vacation!” you say? How wonderful! Well, think again. To me those extra days were more chaos, more of a logistical nightmare, although they were more time spent with family. The sheer ridiculousness of the caravan of baby gear we lugged to and from my mother-in-law’s defined just how out of control this vacation was. We couldn’t see out of the rear windshield and I had to sit in the backseat as the frontseat next to the driver was also piled sky-high with plastic containers. Between the baby’s daily routine, hourly visits to and from relatives, and the season’s events, I had no time to myself or to see my friends. Baby, of course, had a blast. She was entertained by a circus of 5 to 10 family members at any time, singing, clapping, jiggling her, yelling and pinching her cheeks. Of course, by the time it was bedtime every night she was completely wired and exhausted. Of course, she started waking up at 3 am again, and even woke up wanting to play for an hour on Christmas eve. Needless to say, on January 7th I was never more relieved to land in Dubai International Airport and practically “kiss the ground” as my good friend would call it. The past few days I have been gloriously procrastinating on housework and other tasks, while I stroll around my neighborhood with baby, visiting coffee shops and the supermarket, basking in my own time and space. Happy New Year everyone!

One of THOSE Moms

ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED ON 1/10/2013

I have to start out 2013 by being honest with you and with myself, by saying that I am one of THOSE moms…I am one of those moms who spills coffee on herself while pushing her child’s stroller, who always has baby food on her jeans and who often substitutes organic Sprout babyfood for homemade Beaba goodness when she just can’t be bothered. I have to start this year by accepting who I am and being proud of it. I will never, ever be my mother’s type of mother: a dedicated housewife who stays up past midnight preparing the next day’s meal or sewing on a much-needed button. I will never be the kind of mom whose house is always organized and spotless or who has planned out meals weeks in advance. I am a fly-by-the-seat-of-her-pants kind of mom, a two-latte-a-day kind of mom and I’m proud of it. I definitely give my all and all of my love to my baby girl, but I am no “homemaker” by any traditional definition. In fact, the more time I spend at home, the more I tend to slack off. Which is why I have started scheduling playdates for my little one and started planning my return to work once she turns one! Finding a good, stable, interesting and fulfilling job and balancing it with family is my biggest challenge yet. Wish me luck!

The Fertility Game

ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED ON 11/27/2012

So at 29 I find myself at home with a baby, having quit my advertising job after a short and uninspiring run. I would get into what it’s like working at an ad agency in Dubai, but I’ll save that for many many posts later. So it seems simple right: quit the fast-paced career, stay at home, breed little babies, cook the food, support the hubby.  In my case it all happened so fast it was a shock to the system. We got pregnant before we even officially entered the whole “we’re trying” phase, which was a true blessing. For many of my friends, though, things haven’t been so easy. It doesn’t really make sense. They’re all in their 20s! Yet, they find themselves caught up in the ‘fertility’ waiting game.

It is almost too ironic. You get married in your mid to late 20s, you settle in, fix up your apartment, wait for that ‘right’ moment when you are just fed up enough with your job and ready enough in your relationship and nest-making to finally say “let’s try,” “let’s do this.” And then…nothing. And for a couple of my friends, even worse; health-related discoveries. That’s just not supposed to happen at 29. Not according to Sex and the City or Friends, right? And these are the friends who have been married a couple of years, what about the ones who aren’t even close to being married? Well, it all sounds too gloomy for the future of mankind, and life doesn’t play out the way that we think it will, so maybe some of my friends will get married at 35 and have kids at 37, but it still makes the chant grow louder in your head.

Okay, so enough obsessing and doomsday predictions. Why do all these ladies’ ovarian states matter to me so much?

We’re trying to create more than babies here, we’re trying for something bigger than a baby, a family, happiness, knowing we did it RIGHT….(to be continued)